Soldier in a Party Hat
Discovering the joy of endless rest within the Kingdom.
"You still have to take the garbage out, Curtis.”
It seems unfair, after ministering at a wonderful conference where God shows up in unprecedented glory, at a fantastic evangelistic meeting where hundreds could not get in, that my wife does not always share in the ethereal experience. Don’t read me wrong, she is just as full of the Holy Spirit and as hungry for God as I am, but it seems to be much easier for me to get off balance than it is for her. She’s more able to handle the contrasts of ministry.
Contrast seems to be the norm in the kingdom. The weak say that they are strong; the poor say they are rich; we have these treasures in jars of clay. In this present move of God, the paradox between the party and the battle is the strangest to me. The last 14 years as an evangelist have brought me through great seasons of contrast. There are times when I have stood in front of thousands and in the next hour alone in front of a mirror. Times when I have entered an airplane wearing a sweater and a winter coat, and exiting wishing I hadn’t. I have gone out into the streets and seen nothing happen, and also seen times when the harvest could not have been any riper. Then there are times when I come home and carry out the garbage.
Lord of The Harvest, Lord of the Sabbath
For many years in my ministry I so focused on the Lord of the Harvest, that I forgot that He was also the Lord of the Sabbath. There really was no rest in the things that I was doing. I had a compelling commission from God on my life, and my personality type didn't help either. It all seemed simple and biblical: Jesus came to set the world free. I had this message, and I had to tell everyone about it.
Is it possible to do the ministry and not be overburdened with the pressures of it?
But living life as a human “doing” has its consequences. It’s called burn out! And did it ever hit me. I was out of it for quite some time and began to develop a gun-shy attitude about the ministry and about vision. “If I ever launch into this again, God, what will happen?” My fear was that if I ever got into the ‘battle’ again, I would end up in the same ditch. The hand of God was still very much on me. I remember times when I would sit and listen to testimonies of how God met someone and I would cry. I remember asking myself, is it possible to do this stuff and still have fun? Is it possible to do the ministry and not be overburdened with the pressures of it? Could someone show me the abundant life I was supposed to be living? But where was the balance between the battle and the rest of God?
In Psalm 23, King David who was ironically a great warrior and also a great “rest-er,” is reflecting upon the Lord's goodness and love. Because David was a warrior, he could relate to the warrior facet of God. Yet as we read verse 5, we see that even in the midst of the ‘fray’, David seems to be having fun.
“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.” (Psalm 23:5 KJV)
There is that kingdom contrast again. In the midst of war, there is rest.
It doesn’t seem to make sense that in the midst of a fight, he is reclining at his table feasting and enjoying the fatness of God’s blessing. David seems to be caught up in a bubble of God’s presence. Feasting while his enemies are right there. What an awesome position to be in!
During this move of God, the Holy Spirit has answered my cry for rest in the middle of battle. "Can I do this stuff called ministry and still have fun?" "Where is the abundant life that I have been reading about?" It's the feasting facet of God. At the time of this writing, I am seeing the reality of this verse in my life. I can only war successfully against God's enemies as I keep drinking God's "new wine." The challenges are still there, but the Feast, the Oil and the Presence keep me laughing. I feel like a soldier in a party hat and this warrior is going to keep on partying.
This archived article was written by Curtis Hinds for release in May, 2001. Circumstances and situations may have changed regarding the author, locations and ministries. This content may therefore be outdated or misinformed.