Testimony | Healed from Depression
The Father's Love Revealed Sets Julia Free from Depression
By Julia Pomeroy
As I lay on the carpet in the sanctuary, two ladies came up to me, knelt down beside me and very quietly said, “Spirit of doubt come out of her now in Jesus’ name.” I screamed twice very loudly, and nobody was more surprised than I was. I have received so much counseling over the years that I could not even conceive of there being anything left.
I would not wish my childhood on my worst enemy. It was World War II and my birth mother was having the time of her life when she found she was pregnant. Having no idea who my father was, she tried to get rid of me. When that didn’t work, she sold me to a woman who thought that having a child might cement her disintegrating marriage, as the couple could not have children. It didn’t work and so I was labelled ‘failure’ as well ‘rejected’ and ‘unwanted’. My adopted mother (I will now refer to her as my mother) became ill, and she either spent the next two years in an asylum or a sanatorium.
“All I had which belonged to me was my name”
When I was 13 or 14 I came across a briefcase which I had not seen before. My mother was out and so I thought I would explore. My world totally hit rock bottom for it was then that I discovered that I had been adopted. Therefore, according to my young brain, I belonged nowhere and this woman was not even my mother. I was a nobody. All I had which belonged to me was my name. That was the start of my first breakdown.
At the age of 18, in one of my jobs as a secretary, my boss got me involved with Ouija boards and we would often do one during the lunch hour. One sunny lunchtime we went to the park to have our sandwiches and that is when he raped me. I never told my mother, I was too terrified of how she would react and that she might blame me for it.
“I was that desperate to know my mother’s love and approbation.”
Since I had lost my virginity, I didn’t see the point in hanging on to what I no longer had, so this became the way I looked for love. I had left home the minute I could and lived a life of quiet desperation, whether on my own, in a bedsit or back at home. The inevitable happened and I became pregnant. I went back home, faced the wrath and I was then shipped off to London in order for the neighbors not to know. My daughter was born in September 1967 and my mother told me that if I did not have her adopted, her boyfriend would leave her. So my daughter was adopted. I was that desperate to know my mother’s love and approbation.
“I surrendered and gave my life to Jesus.”
Soon after, I met my husband Ian and we married and had two lovely children. However, the depression was still there and nothing I did seemed to stop it. I would have a year or so without depression and then it would come back. We had a neighbor who would ‘God-bother’ me, which was incredibly irritating (at that time) and she gave me a booklet called “Journey Into Life”. It seemed to make absolute sense, and so I surrendered and gave my life to Jesus. I was then healed of bipolar disease, in that the manic periods ceased, but the depression just became worse and worse.
In November 2007, along with my husband and Isa, a very precious friend, I attended a Christian conference at Catch the Fire, Toronto. The first night's speaker, Peter Jackson, majored on God as Father. It's a message I had heard a million times before and could, most probably, preach just as well as the speaker - or so I thought at the time, I know better now. However, halfway through it I burst into tears quite involuntarily and he sent his wife and a friend to me, who prayed with me and gave me some scriptures. I took them but don’t recall doing anything other than having a cursory glance through them and thinking, "No doubt, I’ve most probably read them all before anyway."
“Later, as I stood up, I just knew I had been healed of depression.”
The next night it was Peter speaking again and part of the message had to do with Christians who had doubts. I'd had doubts every day of my Christian walk and battled them so I went forward for prayer. A general prayer was said for all those at the front and I was pole-axed, something I had not been expecting and that is when it happened. As I lay on the floor, the two ladies came and knelt beside me and started praying for me; I had no idea what God was doing. One of the ladies said very quietly into my ear, “Spirit of doubt, leave her”, and, incredibly, I screamed very loudly - something I would most certainly not do under normal circumstances for fear of being thrown out of the church building. Later, as I stood up, I just knew I had been healed of depression.
That was over five years ago and the depression has not come back. It is a weakness, however, and there are times when I have to fight the temptation to fall back into it, but I now have the ability to do so whereas before I was totally unable to fight it.
“I thank God continually for all the love, encouragement and honor I have received from such Godly people.”
Since that time we have been blessed in being able to go to Toronto several times, we have received training and been on mission to such diverse places like Edinburgh, Holland, Turkey, India, and Cyprus. Cyprus is where we live now because we were in at the birth of Catch The Fire's involvement in Cyprus. I thank God continually for all the love, encouragement and honor I have received from such Godly people. Now my husband and I are walking in God’s love and giving it away to those who will listen on this tiny island – and beyond.