Desperation to Fruitfulness


How can God's voice bring healing to a broken heart? 

Watching my children is one of the most beautiful and satisfying things that God has given me. I have learned much about my heavenly Father through parenting my own children. I have learned what kind of parent He is and His great love for me.

My husband and I were married in 1993. We were young and thought we would wait to have our family. God had other plans. We got pregnant right away, and we lost the baby. That was very difficult – I became depressed as I dealt with my pain. The depression evidenced itself in my appetite, my overreactions to everything – one night I remember being very close to a breakdown, as I could not sleep and just paced and paced. The pain was overwhelming to me and I could not see past it.

"In the journaling process, God healed me."

My parents were very concerned. The previous year my parents had attended a seminar with me on “Hearing God’s Voice.” My parents directed me to look for my handbook and follow the steps for journaling. It was the best advice given to me during those dark months. I struggled with God, yet in the journaling process, God healed me. I wrote of the pain of seeing babies with their mothers, and He always answered me with His love, even in my anger.

Finally, after months, I was able to watch Father God in a vision pick up my child and hold her, this was the final relief for me to move forward, believing that He will parent her; I could release her to His arms. Journaling, according to Mark Virkler, is the final product of learning to hear God’s voice. Hearing God’s voice is one of the values of Catch The Fire and is an amazing tool to use in all aspects of life. Dr. Virkler describes how to hear the voice of God from Habakkuk 2:1-2:

1. Still yourself to hear. 

2. Fix your eyes on Jesus.

3. Tune into flow (God’s voice often sounds like spontaneous thoughts).

4. Write it down - Journal. 

Hearing God’s voice was like a pipeline of life and light in my desperate situation. Along with this emotional battle that I endured, I was physically in pain in this process. Not only did I lose this child but ended up in, and out of hospital for the next few months due to complications. This was a painful journey, at the end of my physical healing my doctor told me that I may or may not be able to carry a child full term, due to the complications. This was a devastating blow to me – I was 25 and it was December 1993. 

"God goes beyond the healing which we think is too big to ask for."

Then, at the end of January 1994, revival swept our congregation of a couple of hundred – you know the story! It was an exciting time, my husband and I were at church many nights a week enjoying and helping as needed. By the end of February 1994 I was pregnant and my first child was born November 1994. Our Father is an amazing Father that He goes beyond the healing which we think is too big to ask for most of the time. He goes fully into fruitfulness where others can receive their healing as well, because of your testimony. Today we have five beautiful children. I am fruitful in the area I was once the most desperate.

What is your area of greatest need? Have you practiced hearing God’s voice for your own healing?

Have you raised your expectation, that He wants to and will heal? He did for me and will for you too.