The Testimony of Nina Barker
Healed from a life - threatening disorder through the power of forgivness, where true freedom is finally discovered.
In October 2005 I was suddenly rushed to hospital and was found to have a life-threatening blood disorder of unknown origin or cure. I spent 9 days in the high dependency unit.
One night, I heard the audible voice of Jesus asking me, “Will you die for Me?”
Before I had time to reply, I heard Him say, “I died for you”. My immediate response was, “Yes Lord, but does it have to be right now? I have only been married a couple of years, and I have things to do for You.”
Suddenly, I understood what He was asking me. He wanted to strip away things that were ungodly. For the next several nights over many hours, He lovingly ministered to me. I believe that those night times in hospital set the scene for what was to follow, and it explains the ABSOLUTE peace I felt, and the trust I had that He would never leave me nor forsake me. So my testimony of healing starts before the disaster struck.
Nobody could understand later on why I didn’t have a pity party, or moan and groan and blame God. In fact, I was able to minister to others who were going through difficult times and point them to Jesus while I was going through my own trial of faith.
DESCENT INTO PAIN
One morning in October 2005, I woke up and turned to say ‘good morning’ to my husband only to find that I couldn’t speak. My throat was closing, and I was having difficulty breathing. I was rushed into hospital and spent 9 life-threatening days in the high dependency unit. The doctors discovered that I had a blood disorder of unknown origin and unknown cure. All the specialist could give me was a dangerously high dose of steroids to control what was happening in my body. The highest dose a body can take before it collapses is 120 mg, and I was on 100mg a day!
After this trip to the hospital and in an effort to get going again, I started walking and gently exercising but I suddenly developed pains in my left leg and in the base of my spine. The doctor discovered that I had a small tear in the Achilles tendon, which caused my back to hurt.
In January 2006, I had a bone density scan and another MRI and was diagnosed with steroid induced osteoporosis but the scans showed that I had no cracks or anything to worry about. My husband, Richard, and I had booked to go on the Catch the Wave conference that February, so off we went. We arrived in Fort Lauderdale the day before with friends. (Lis Peters, wife of John Peters, can verify what happened because we were cruising together).
After having a meal together with our friends that day, I stood up to leave the table; but as I turned, I screamed as my back gave way.
In those few seconds, my entire life changed. Suddenly, I couldn’t stand or walk.
Thinking that I had only torn a muscle, we set off on the cruise; but it was no holiday because I was in agony. I registered with the ship’s doctor who gave me daily painkilling injections thinking it was still my tendon and back muscles. I was also given a wheelchair, as I could no longer walk more than a yard or two. In addition to the pain, which was far worse than childbirth, I was incontinent and unable to do a single thing for myself. Richard became my caregiver 24 hours a day. Flying back to England was an ordeal. The aircrew was so helpful; they let me lie on the floor during the whole flight because I couldn’t sit.
Upon arriving home that February, I had another MRI, which revealed that part of my spine had collapsed. The doctor arranged for me to have a vertebroplasty, a procedure done under general anaesthesia where the specialist uses a 4 mm wide needle to inject bone cement into the collapsed area to set it in place! The procedure is risky because the bone cement could leak out and destroy nerves and cause paralysis.
Richard and I decided to take the risk and in May 2006 I was admitted into hospital and went through the procedure the next day. When I woke up I had no pain, NO PAIN. I could hardly believe it. Still in a wheelchair I went home thinking that after a few days rest, life would be normal.
Instead, I was assessed by the government as disabled and given a lifetime disability living allowance. I also received a blue parking badge given only to permanently disabled people. I could walk only a few yards. I couldn’t dress myself completely, pick up any- thing from the floor or take a bath. During this testing time I never, ever lost my peace or trust in God. It felt as if He knew what was going on and that He was taking me through it.
THE TURNING POINT
Ten months later, Richard and I attended a conference at Bath city church, located a two-hour drive from our home. It was a struggle to get organized for this major trip, but we did it.
On the first evening, as I was sitting in the disabled area, I started telling the Lord that I wanted to dance to Him. I knew how ridiculous a request this was considering how much I couldn’t do, but I kept asking Him. I did the same on the sessions we attended on the Friday and Saturday. In fact, I went on and on about it.
The worship was so wonderful and although my spirit was soaring, I wanted to physically express my love and adoration to Him.
On the Saturday evening, John Arnott felt led to call those who needed healing to stand up. With help, I got to my feet, not for healing but because I wanted to dance. Two of the ministry team ladies came to me and as they did, I crashed to the floor with a yell.
Poor Richard thought my spine had gone again. As he gave one of the ladies some background information, the other lady joined me on the floor. She prayed against the effects of the huge dose of steroids I had been taking, and I felt as if I vomited up a bucket of them.
Then she asked me “Do you have anyone to forgive?” I replied “No....yes!!!” I almost looked round to see who said ‘yes’. She asked me who I needed to forgive and to my surprise, I said “The man who did the procedure on my spine”.
This was news to me, and I couldn’t think why I would need to forgive him.
She then asked, “What do you need to forgive him for?”
To my surprise, I replied, “Because he didn’t tell me I might be disabled.”
Then she asked, the vital question, “Can you forgive him?” To my horror I vehemently said, “No, I can’t.”
I was shocked.
I know about the importance of forgiveness. Richard and I have been ministering to people for over 10 years, and I have led people through forgiveness as I have also been in situations where I needed to forgive. Here I was, saying definitively that I, Nina Barker, could not forgive someone. Whatever was going on?
Then she asked me why I couldn’t forgive him, and I said, “BECAUSE I WANT TO HIT HIM”. I could see myself punching him in the mouth. I was horrified and ashamed of myself. I had no idea that anything so dreadful was inside me.
Eventually however, I did forgive him, released him from my judgment and prayed a blessing on him. Immediately I heard a loud click in my right ear. One of the ministry team ladies asked me what I wanted to do next, and I replied, “I want to dance.”
I got up off the floor with just a hand offered to balance me. Before that moment, I needed two people to help lift me up.
I walked to the other side of the room with them, and we DANCED AND DANCED AND DANCED. I jumped up and down. I cried and laughed.
I was dancing and then I realized I was healed! PRAISE THE LORD!
I caught sight of Richard with his mouth open, and I laughed even more. I WAS HEALED! The Lord knew that I wanted to dance, and He was saying, “That’s fine, you are going to dance; but first we need to do business, then I will heal you and then you can dance.”
I declare that until that moment, I had no idea that I was harboring anything against the specialist, but Heavenly Father knew and He pointed His finger right inside me to pull it out. I didn’t give my testimony right away because I wanted to walk in my healing for a while; but by the time we arrived home on the Sunday I KNEW I was healed.
SRREADING THE GOOD NEWS
Richard and I went to my doctor the next day, as his first appointment. He was sitting at this desk, head down and asked, “What can I do for you?”
I replied that I had come to give him good news. He looked up surprised. There I was standing before him and not in a wheelchair. He was amazed at my testimony and said he had heard about such things before and that I had “made his day.”
Next we took the home equipment back to the Occupational Therapy Department at the local hospital where I gave my testimony again. Then I wrote to the government to have my disability pension stopped and to send a refund back. I did not want one penny after that Saturday, and I wrote my testimony for them.
A few days later, I had a telephone call from that department checking up on the validity of my letter. I assured the young man that it was true and gave my testimony again. He had not heard of miracles before. He said they didn’t have the facility to cancel money because people had it for life, but I said I couldn’t possibly have it. It was dishonest and did not give God the honor of my healing. He agreed to somehow cancel the weekly money but could not let me send back the small refund because there was no facility for that either. Lastly, I sent back my blue parking badge for the car, giving them my testimony also. It was all such fun.
I want to add that one of the very best things I did when we got home was to bend down and pick up the cat for a cuddle. I had not done that for 11 months.
I have been praising Him ever since and giving my testimony wherever possible because there is power in the truth. I keep the necessary paperwork with me to show those who don’t believe, but nobody has asked to see it yet.