Healing The Heart To Worship Him
"Is there something wrong with me?" "Doesn't God love me?" Perhaps you’ve tried to experience God's presence in worship only to feel that you’ve hit a barrier?
Feeling this way is often a sign that you’re in need of inner healing. You may be suffering from the memory of past hurts, some of which are deeply buried. God wants to restore your soul to enable you to better receive ministry and give to others.
Spontaneous Inner Healing in Worship
In these days of God's outpouring, the Father is touching our hearts in fresh ways, often spontaneously during worship times as He releases the revelation of His love. Many have testified at TACF to experiencing God dissolving walls and removing the pain of past hurts, enabling them to experience depths of God's love that had never been possible to them before.
Our own defenses construct walls around pain to prevent us from further hurt. When the wall went up, we didn't intend it to keep God out, but it did. Allowing God to go beyond the wall and get to the wound allows healing to take place and enlarges our hearts to contain more of Him. We just need to give Him permission.
Then He can touch us more deeply as we give our love and devotion to Him. During this exchange, His love seeps into our spirits, softening and melting away any other barriers around our hearts.
God wants to redefine the word "father" for you.
In order to draw close to God, then, you must become transparent. In Psalm 139 David laid open his heart before God, asking Him to search him to see if there was any wicked way in him. Once you are convinced of God's incredible unconditional love for you, it is possible to be vulnerable before God without fear of condemnation. If there is sin keeping you from intimacy with Him, He will forgive and remove it. If you are suffering from discouragement that makes you want to withdraw from Him, He gives fresh hope.
As you choose to press in to Him and make the effort to climb that Holy Mountain in worship, He promises that He will meet you there and will draw you closer. I find it helpful to picture God in front of me and try to look Him in the eyes as I sing my songs of love directly to Him. He always responds to my longing for more of Him.
Worship is also listening to God tell you the truth about yourself and what you believe. A person who is deeply wounded develops a faulty perspective and can even begin to believe lies. For instance, you might believe with your head that God loves you, but does your heart believe it? Do you feel unworthy of His love, or that you deserve to be rejected by Him? Or have you come to believe a lie about someone else such as "men can't be trusted" or "women will take what you tell them and use it against you"?
As you take the time to listen to God, He will take the old lies that you have believed about yourself and others and replace them with His true perspective. When He speaks directly into your spirit, your heart begins to believe the things that no one else has been able to convince you were true. This is when real healing takes place. As God does His work, His truth sets you free.
Experiencing the Father's Love in Worship
One of the most common misconceptions that comes as a result of past hurts is a wrong perspective of the word "father.” God gave each person a father to represent what our heavenly Father is like. Sin corrupted God’s plan. Now rather than be an accurate representation of God, your earthly father can present a distorted picture of your heavenly Father. If your father was harsh and critical, you will tend to think that God will be harsh and critical with you. If your father wasn't available for you when you needed him, you will likely have trouble trusting that God will be there for you when you need Him most.
As our worship team sings over people receiving prayer, we often witness tears of release as God pours His love into them.
On one of our trips overseas, we encountered a young lady who believed that she was not able to have children because God was punishing her. Before she had been married and before she had become a Christian, she had had an abortion. Because her father was harsh and abusive, she was terrified of him finding out that she was pregnant. The fear of facing her father was the main reason she’d had the abortion. As she chose to forgive her father and to forgive herself, God ministered to her. He assured her that He was not a harsh Father, and was not punishing her, but offered her His love and forgiveness instead. Prayer broke the power of the lies she believed. God began to heal her body. Two months later we received the wonderful news that she was pregnant. She and her husband now have a lovely baby boy.
God wants to redefine the word "father" for you. He wants to be the father that your earthly father could not be, to nurture you, affirm you and meet your need for love. As we let Him speak to you in those quiet times of listening and "soaking", His love will heal your broken heart.
Another benefit of prayerful listening is that sometimes you are able to hear God singing over you. Zephaniah 3:17 says, "He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." During the ministry time at TACF, we sing quiet intimate songs of worship, sometimes singing prophetic songs that come from the Father's heart as He sings over His bride.
One night at a renewal meeting in Toronto, we stepped off the platform and began to sing over the people lying on the floor. We do this often, but this particular night one lady told us that just before we came to sing over her she had said to God, "I really need to know if you truly love me. Would it be possible for you to send someone to sing your message of love over me?" No wonder she burst into tears when one of us walked over to her just then and knelt beside her to sing about His arms of love.
Another woman experienced healing in the same way. She had been adopted as a child and had always had a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment. When the song "I Will Not Forget You" was sung over her, God assured her that "though a mother forgets the baby at her breast, I won't forget you."
As our worship team sings over people receiving prayer, we often witness tears of release as God pours His love into them. People willingly soak for hours in His mercy and grace, and then go home free, full of hope and faith. The sense of abandonment is gone, replaced by the assurance of their heavenly Father's unconditional love for them. When the fear of abandonment goes, the human spirit just automatically sings. Like the scripture says, "Through each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing His songs, praying to God who gives me life." (Psalm 42:8)
Once the fear of abandonment and rejection go, it is also easier to forgive. The Christian who chooses to forgive chooses to live. Many people who have come to Toronto have experienced physical healing as they have chosen to forgive those who’ve wrong them. One woman received healing during ministry time when God showed her that she needed to forgive her father who sexually abused her when she was a child. This was a difficult thing for her, and she writhed in the agony of it. As she chose to let it go, God spontaneously healed her of MS, even though no one prayed for her physical healing. Over the next three days, she received such freedom of movement that she was able to dance for joy at church. Her friends and family later said that the greatest miracle was that she was no longer bitter and critical, but now was able to freely pour her love out on others.
As your heart heals, you will become full of His love and will have an even stronger desire to worship Him. You will also worship with more passion, more joy, and more freedom. "You thrill me, Lord, with all You have done for me! I sing for joy because of what You have done." (Psalm 92:4) This, of course, only causes Him to show up again and go even deeper than He did before. What a glorious cycle of healing and worship and what a wonderful Father we have!